i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
