Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
