i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
