youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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