My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
