Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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