I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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