After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
