Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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