just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
