he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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