Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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