The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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