garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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