wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
