Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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