I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
