I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
