i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
it glows. i had to have it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
