I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
