to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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