U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
