Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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