Do you still have your period?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
