So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
