I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
