it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
