Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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