So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You can't just leave with hair like that
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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