I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
