ugly people sure do ruin things
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
