party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
