oh god the rape fog is back!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
