Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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