it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
