alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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