Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
