I puked a lego.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
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