if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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