everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
