we're blogging at a bar
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
