nut hugger
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
