I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
