Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
