where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
