You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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