Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
