took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
