I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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