i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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