Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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