she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
