This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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